


It Gets Better

by The_small_one_to_rule_them_all



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Angst, Cutting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Hurt/Comfort, Logic | Logan Sanders Is A Good Friend, Self-Harm, explicit mention and discussion of suicidal thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:08:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23887201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_small_one_to_rule_them_all/pseuds/The_small_one_to_rule_them_all
Summary: Virgil's thoughts are getting big and overwhelming and turning very dark, so he gets some help from Logan.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders
Comments: 4
Kudos: 177





	It Gets Better

**Author's Note:**

> CONTENT WARNING  
> \- explicit discussion of suicidal thoughts  
> \- explicitly stated suicidal thoughts  
> \- cutting  
> \- blood
> 
> PLEASE DO NOT READ if any of these things are a possible trigger for you. I do not want you guys, gals, and nonbinary pals getting hurt because of my fic. Please take care of yourselves and keep yourselves safe.  
> and PLEASE let me know if there is anything I missed and need to tag or mention here!

Virgil drops the blade as what he has done starts to sink in, then a little voice in the back of his head speaks up again.

_Kill yourself. Cut deeper. It’s so easy. Just a little bit more._

“No. Why the hell would I?” Virgil responds out loud.

 _Because this life is horrible and unbearable. You’re all alone, everything is pain and sadness, there is no reason to stay. No one would care_.

“They do care. Thomas needs me. I can't just abandon them.” He insists, voice wavering.

_Do they care? Do they really? And even if they do, do you care if they care? Wouldn't they be glad you ended your suffering?_

Virgil huffs, sludging out of bed and pushing his door open. He slunks over to Logan’s room and stands at the door for a while, hand hanging in the air to knock.

_He doesn't care. Why even try? He will just send you away. It isn't worth the effort-_

“Virgil? Why are you standing in front of my door?”

Virgil blinks and turns around in surprise, “Trying to convince myself to talk to you.” he admits, too shocked to come up with a lie.

Logan hums, “What do you want to talk about?”

“... Doesn't matter. It’s stupid.” Virgil mutters crossing his arms as he goes to sink out

Logan takes Virgil sturdily by the arm as he tries to sink out, pulling him back up, “Hey. It is not stupid. I know that look. What is your brain telling you this time?’

Virgil shows Logan his cut and bloody wrist. Logan is silent, so he explains, “It’s... for me to... to cut deeper.”

Logan takes Virgil’s hands, “You are having thoughts of suicide?” He asks gently.

Virgil nods, staring at his shoes and solidly refusing to meet the other’s gaze.

“Were you thinking of acting on them?” Logan asks, a hint of concern seeping into his voice.

Virgil shrugs, “Don't wanna, but I... I think if I'm left alone for too long... I might”

Logan nods, “I understand. I'm happy to talk if that is what you want, but first we need to get you cleaned up. Would you prefer my bathroom or the shared one?”

“I don't care.”

“Mine it is then.”

They sink out into Logan’s bathroom and Virgil takes his place on the floor with wrists over the tub as instructed. He waits as Logan turns on the warm water, gathers supplies, and settles next to him. But Logan reaches for him and Virgil panics. He pulls his wrists in close.

“Virgil? It’s okay, you don't need to be scared.”

Hesitantly, Virgil offers up one of his wrists, trembling as Logan gently takes his hand and pushes up the sleeve of his hoodie. Virgil watches intently as Logan works, hissing in pain occasionally, but not minding the sting. When it comes time for Logan to clean the other wrist he extends it willingly and without fear. 

When the cleaning is done and his wrists have been bandaged, Logan wills away the supplies and turns to Virgil.

“Would you like to talk about it?”

Virgil nods. 

“My room or the living room?”

“Living room.”

Logan takes Virgil’s hand and they sink out, ending up on the couch. Logan summons blankets and hot chocolate. 

Virgil takes a blanket, wrapping himself in it and holds the hot chocolate, staring at it, not saying anything. He doesn't go to drink it either. 

Logan drinks his coco, waiting. He knows not to rush something like this. 

“I’m sorry.”

Logan frowns, “I don't know what you are apologising for but I assure you there is nothing to make it necessary.’

“No I mean... my brain may be yelling at me to off myself, but most of the time I ignore it. I am able to ignore it. I listened this time and now that I think about it... listening was so _selfish_ of me. I wasn't thinking about any of you, just how miserable I feel.... How you would feel barely even crossed my mind and.... I'm sorry.”

Logan sighs, “It’s okay, Virgil, you don't need to apologise. It is hard to see the big picture when you get lost in your head, that doesn't make you a bad person.”

“But I... what if...” Virgil sighs, “What if I still kinda want to?” He whispers.

Logan shakes his head, “You are not a bad person for having the urge to hurt or kill yourself.” he insists, leaving no room for argument. 

“L... Why do I still want to? It was supposed to go away. This,” He says raising his wrist, “This was supposed to make it stop. Why is it? Why?” Virgil starts to shake.

Logan takes Virgil’s coco from him so he doesn't spill it and takes Virgil’s hands gently, “Sometimes it doesn't go away immediately. Sometimes it takes a day, or even a week or more. That is normal. But it doesn't matter to me how long it lasts, i’ll still be here for you whenever you need me for however long, okay?”

Virgil is quiet before hesitantly asking, “What if it never goes away?”

Logan’s grip on Virgil’s hands tightens a bit, “It will. Things will get better, I promise.”

Virgil shakes his head, “How could you know?”

Logan takes a minute, thinking hard. Then he lets Virgil’s hands go. He runs a hand over his wrist, as though clearing something away, and shows his wrist to Virgil.

Virgil stares at it for a moment. It is covered in white scars, scars that look like they stretched, yet noticing how old and faint and faded they look. He is hit with so much emotion as he realises what Logan is telling him as he finally looks Logan in the eyes.

“It gets _so much_ better. I _promise_.” Logan whispers.

Virgil breaks, crying hard, and Logan holds him close. 

“Things will get better, and I will be here for you until they do.”

This time, Virgil believes him. 

**Author's Note:**

> National Suicide Prevention Hotline 800-273-8255


End file.
